Love and Marriage

This is a photograph of the top from our wedding cake. At thirty-five years of age, what was once sparkling white is now turning yellow, but it is a precious and tangible sign of the commitment hubby and I made to each other on our wedding day.
I believe in love, which is rather obvious since I write romance novels. I believe in relationships that last forever. I’ve seen plenty of other couples who are devoted to each other and who have celebrated many anniversaries. However, the brief marriage of Kim Kardashian, last week’s big news story, wasn’t what I would call a marriage.

I have no idea what the truth is in that situation. Though the wedding boosted the television ratings and made lots of money, it did not resemble any kind of committed relationship. The big party was lavish. Kim had a beautiful dress and she looked stunning but she could not have paid much attention to the words she recited.

While I cannot claim to be a marriage expert, hubby and I ran a Pre-Cana program in our church for seven years. The Catholic Church has an excellent marriage preparation program. Anyone who wants to get married in the Church must attend either an Engaged Encounter or a Pre-Cana. Yes, there are Catholic couples who divorce despite the instructional course, but hubby and I believe it can be helpful. We went through both a Pre-Cana and an Engaged Encounter before we were married. We were serious about our marriage. Do we still argue? You bet we do.

My parents were married for sixty-two years until my mother died. Did they argue? Sure they did. Hubby parents have been married for an incredible seventy-one years. They have had disagreements, too.

Love is a decision. Marriage involves work, communication, compromise, and a whole bunch of forgiveness from both partners to build a sound, permanent relationship.

It isn’t easy. Unfortunately, Kim Kardashian’s stunt cheapens the idea of marriage, which is a shame. It would be wonderful to see entertainers setting a good example, but I guess that isn’t going to happen anytime soon. :^(

Nevertheless, I will continue to write about two people who find love and make a permanent commitment to each other. It can work.

The Teeny Tiny Wedding Dress

My mother's parents were married in 1919. My grandmother met my grandfather when she was sixteen, but her mother refused to allow her to marry him at that point. He joined the service and came back three years later. Their wedding lasted three days. My grandmother always insisted that she had the most beautiful wedding dress. The large photograph of her in her wedding gown with my grandfather seated beside her always hung on the wall in her bedroom.

As each of her granddaughters grew up, she would tell them at a certain point when they were too big for the wedding dress. Eventually, even my skinny little twelve-year old cousin was too big for the dress.

My sisters and I begged my grandmother to show us the dress--even though we could not wear it. When my grandmother brought it out, we were all horrified. It was crumpled and brown and certainly did not look a thing like the one in the photograph.

When my grandmother died, my mother kept the wedding dress. The other day, my father handed the box with the gown in it to me. I took the dress out of the box and gently placed it on the dining room table. It is so incredibly small. It looks like a six-year old child might be able to squeeze into it.

I knew my grandmother as a short, but plump woman. How delicate she must have been when she was younger. Yet, she bore seven children and lived to the age of ninety. So she was actually rather sturdy.

But you would never guess it looking at the dress.