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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Aging In Place or Assisted Living?

That's my father, 93 years old, a World War II vet stationed in the South Pacific for three years, a journalist for forty years, a staunch Democrat, and a widower after 62 years of marriage. He had a stroke on Columbus Day which affected his right side--but not his throat or his mental acuity.

He's been making gains in physical therapy. After the stroke, he was depressed for a while but lately he's returned to his usual witty self.

My problem is that I get conflicting advice on how to manage his care after he leaves the rehab facility. Assisted living facilities are incredibly expensive, but there are those who claim it's so much better for the social aspects of the elderly.

My father is very gregarious. He can--and does--talk to anyone. He makes up jokes all the time.

The thing is, he's been very happy in his senior apartment building, where he has lots of friends who miss him.

I think he could go back to his apartment with home care, which is not cheap either but it's a familiar environment. His building does provide many activities for the residents such as movie night, armchair adventures, birthday parties, holiday parties, Communion services, and etc.

Dad suggested to me yesterday he could take a cruise around the world. (Although, he said he'd like to skip the South Pacific part.)

What would you do?


MarkD60 said...

My Mom lives in a senior apartment area, which is more like a gated community, there are houses and apartments and different levels of living and care.
It is called Leisure World, and you can find more about it on the internet.
I think where he lived before the stoke would be best and what he wants.

Penelope Marzec said...


I had not heard about Leisure World, but it sounds great.

Yes, I want Dad to be happy--and if he's happy where he was that would be good.

Avery K. Tingle said...

This is a deep post. To answer your question...I have absolutely no idea what I'd do. I hope you post your decision. I'm curious.

Penelope Marzec said...

Avery Tingle:

At present, due to my father's progress in rehab, we are leaning toward home care--also due to limited funds.

The assisted living facilities I visited wanted a guarantee of two years full payment before they would accept Medicaid after the money is all gone.

Dad is able to stand at this point and transfer himself from a wheelchair into a car or to a bed, etc. He can walk with a walker, too, though not for a long distance.

If he continues to gain strength, home is where he would like to be. :-)