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Monday, May 04, 2009

Rules of Dating

Daughter #2 is still recuperating at home. She's improving everyday. :^) It's been nice to chat with her everyday. Daughter #1 went along with us to Connecticut this past weekend to attend our grandniece's First Holy Communion. It took over three hours to get to Connecticut and it took three hours to return, which was plenty of time to talk. One topic that keeps coming up is dating. My daughters are lovely and intelligent, but they are very discouraged by the dating scene. Yes, they've met plenty of men, but the dating rules have changed--and not for the better.

When I was young, men paid for the date. That was the accepted protocol. If a man wanted to enjoy a woman's company, it was understood that he forked out the cash.

Today, women often pay their share. While going "Dutch" is fair, it does nothing to prove whether or not a man is serious. Where's the commitment when a man never offers to pay for dinner, or the movies? If he wants a woman, he should make an investment.

Furthermore, there is a problem with what constitutes a date. One of my daughters met up with a guy who treated her to the Dollar Menu at the local fast food restaurant and then mentioned that he had a mattress under the cover of his pickup truck.

That is not a date.

My mother, who is now 87, always told me that men only want one thing. She has always been right on that score. Men will take what they can get. However, in the past, at least there were some very definitive rules for courtship. If a man was serious, he knew he had to pull out all the stops and woo the woman in the proper fashion.

I was lucky. I was courted by my hubby. He took me out and paid for the dates. He was old-fashioned and that was fine. He was really serious and looking for commitment. He made falling in love a wonderful experience.

But I'm sure there are plenty of women who have had terrible dates--worse than those my daughters have gone through.

What was your worst date?


Leann said...

It's not a worst date post but the rules of dating certainly have changed. It is difficult to date now. I always am perplexed as to whether to offer to pay my share or not. Sometimes it is appreciated and sometimes they act offended. The lines have blurred.

Word Actress said...

You're right...the rules have changed...and yet it still remains the same...we're all looking for someone who 'gets' us and feels happy being around us. I thought I had that and now after 20 years we're separated. In my novel, 'Night Surfing', my character Sosie Bend has just been dumped by her fiance who moves on to have a baby with someone else. What I have her saying and what I need to relearn is to ...insist on things...Sosie is looking for a new someone with a nice smile and manners and that's still what would appeal to me. Good luck to your daughters. Have them insist on things, too...Mary Kennedy Eastham, Author, 'The Shadow of a Dog I Can't Forget' and the novel-in-progress 'Night Surfing'